I was just flipped of by a little girl in a...
What. The. Fuckin. Fuck. Be glad I’m in my car bitch.
leedukes: jdmclaik: nap4lm: A black man’s role in a scary movie An asian guys dick. Sex with a fat guy.
Me: (looking at phone) I swear everyone I graduated with is engaged or married.
Tiffany: When are you getting married?
Me: (side eyes) When it's legal!
Tiffany: -blank stare- Snap!
: How to survive a T-Rex attack. →
chibimasshuu: I just read an article that questioned whether a human could out run the most man eatery man eater of the Dino age. But in my opinion I think the last thing you would want to do is run away from one. In fact, based on the fairly accurate data we have on their size and shape, I’d say you run at…
sharks who make the same face in every picture.
parjars: Ugh, I hate it when people say “Fuck the police”. Don’t just fuck the police. Take the police out on a couple dates. Take the police to the movies or a nice stroll in the park. Feed the police some delicious fondue. Make the police fall in love with you. Then, fuck the police. And then out of nowhere, stop taking calls from the police. Ignore the police. Make the police miss you....
Driving 80 blasting The Millionaires with the windows down.
Sitting in traffic delivering Beyoncé realness.
Hair whips and all.
I live a Breadquanda appreciation life
anonymously message me exactly what type of person...
xlunacii: I have never done this before, but I am willing to give it a go…if nothing happens, so be it :)
I’m more likely to get shwety balls in boxers than any other underoos. I’ve been crazy horny for a good week. I just beat Bioshock and the ending made me tear up.
Stuff my ask!
sapherb replied to your post: Boyfriends response to me eating Chick-Fil-A for lunch. bu…bu…but it’s soo gooooooooodd T___T ^THIS^
Boyfriends response to me eating Chick-Fil-A for...
“-_- Quincy. No. No Quincy. It’s not worth it. Homophobic chicken is bad for you. And the waffle fries get cold so fast. Thats god being disapoint with them. “
The most painful thing two people can do is fall in love. It is singularly the...– likethepresident.tumblr.com
alibrariangoestoikea asked: 3, 4, 5
The imposing door.
Me: Dude look at my door.
Me: Isn't it rather imposing for a door? Like it's really big for a door .
Brittanie: It's like "Big people welcoooome!!".
bryansomething asked: 7. Think about the one guy/girl you thought “wow, why did I like that person? and tell me about them
complex-qrs asked: 19. Something that not a lot of people know about you
Send me numbers. →
bl1nded: 1. How many girls and/or guys have you kissed 2. If you were filthy rich (as in wiping your ass with $1000 bills rich) how many houses would you buy and where? 3. What are you most afraid of? 4. If you could have one thing disappear from this earth, what would it be? 5. What would you rename the current country you live in? 6. If you had to wear one outfit for the rest of your life,...
I love the term 'we're expecting' when talking...
between-rage-and-serenity: because it makes it sound like there’s more than one outcome. Yeah, we’re expecting a baby but it could be a velociraptor.
Reblog if you want one of these in your askbox:
chelsea1dagger7: A ridiculous question A compliment Why you follow me If you met me what would you do A cute message One thing you want to tell me One thing you want to know about me Preez? :]