Days like today...
Are the reason alcohol exists.
Drunk straight guys.
I’m drowning in a sea of cheep beer and testosterone.
vandalcetti replied to your photo: is that rue21? Wal-mart. Fashion on a budget y’all!
Anonymous asked: Have you seen The Darkest Hour? If so, how good is it? I wanted to go see it, but I don't know if I should or not. I'm a really jumpy person :p
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
-mooncrooner- started following you -evanesco started following you Two of my first followers on my first blog!!
chibimasshuu replied to your photo: Which part is...
Be safe out there - ice (like zombies) can appear at any moment.– The University of North Dakota facebook page. (via id10tango)
chibimasshuu replied to your post: That awkward moment when your dad shoots a shotgun in the house on Christmas day. OMG I am loving these little looks into your life. :) block letmejusttellyou replied to your post: That awkward moment when your dad shoots a shotgun in the house on Christmas day. OMG your life is outrageous. Only when I’m around my dad. Seriously, there is either...
That awkward moment when your dad shoots a shotgun...
It had blanks. Merry Christmas y’all! Boyfriend just stared when I kept eating. Ha!
roguephoenix: thatguy26: That awkward moment someone texts you Merry Christmas but you don’t know who it is and you don’t want to ruin their holiday spirit by asking who the hell is texting you… This happened to me this morning. Yep.
afewsmallrepairs replied to your photo: Is that your foot in his lap? Yurp!
My dad knows I'm an alcoholic.
He got me a bottle of Patron. I love him.
sv replied to your photo: i know a taco bueno plate when i see it. Ninfas actually. XD
Gay? Vote for the other guy, Newt says. Republican Presidential contender Newt...– Gingrich to gay man: Vote Obama (via alexdarke)
The Gay Agenda
brittanieisforlovers: wakagucci: turn all kids gay destroy american values have sex with every soldier give AIDS to everyone destroy America go shopping I knew it! How could I be so blind? DAMMIT! NOW EVERYONE KNOWS!
Quincy: So I go to walmart and I was walking into walmart and I see a guy pissing. I saw everything. His entire dick.
Me: Was it David? Because he does that all the time.
Quincy: No, it was small. David has a lochness monster down there. This guy had a shy turtle.
About to fucking lose it with my apartment office. Who has a room for me?
Look a Badger with a gun can you see?: SOPA... →
burt-reynolds-xmas-special: kshandra: underwatermess: So when these assfucks in DC decide to ruin the internet, here’s how to access your favorite sites in the event of a DNS takedown tumblr.com 22.214.171.124 wikipedia.org 126.96.36.199 # News bbc.co.uk 188.8.131.52 …
What if I made a video?
Who wants to hear my gross voice! ?